Knowing is a Blind Spot

Knowing is a Blind Spot.

I went on a jog with a childhood friend of mine who served as a Marine for the United States. He was struggling to get back in shape but credit to him he could keep up with our light jog. At some point in our tread around the pond, we stopped to do pull-ups at a public exercise course along the path. There was a fellow already there and he was doing pull-ups when we arrived. We took turns on the bar in rotations of our sets. Now this fellow was in very good looking shape. He has muscles to lift heavy and a tone that showed he can sprint quickly. He looked very naturally fit and was banging out pull-ups with relative ease.

At the time, I was in one of the best shapes of my life and I was able to bang out my pull-ups with no problemo. However, my friend struggled on each set and barely made half the numbers we were hitting. On one of his sets, the muscular fellow tells him he is dong his pull-ups wrong. My friend, in a kind mannered rebuttal, tells him that this is how the marines taught him to do pull-ups. The muscular man asked in a condescending manner, “You are marine!?” My friend says, “Yes.” He scoffs a “Huh!” and replies, “I know plenty of Marines and they are in much better shape than you.”

A year ago my friend was on tour in Iraq and he was shot in the chest by a sniper. The bullet went through his arm and into his chest. His lungs filled with blood and he needed to be dragged out of danger by his brothers in arms. Many would have died. Plenty thought he was going to die. He himself admits that there was a moment when he thought he was gonna die. But he survived. He survived by the help of his team and the spirit of his own will power. That incident was about a year ago from when my friend and I were doing pull-ups with this muscular fellow who knows Marines. But what he did not know was that the man he was patronizing had been in combat and survived a sniper shot to the chest. A purple heart soldier. My friend had been on the path to not only recovering physically, mentally, emotionally, but also to get back into Marine physical form. And into Marine physical form he finally did.

Knowing is a Blind Spot.

I have a friend who lives out in the sticks of Japan. He lives near a working peer of mines who has a beach house nearby. They live in a tight knit community, so many people in the area know one another. Especially the foreigners. So my friend knows my peer and that he also knows that my peer and I work in the same industry. So my friend mentions him and proceeds to compliment his personality, surfing skills, and how he is such a cool guy.

A week later on a job, I end up working with my peer. I say, “Hey I didn’t know you knew my friend. I was at his place last weekend and he messaged you to come over for the BBQ.” His reply was “He doesn’t wear a mask. He invites strangers, well strangers to me, over his home all the time. He is also anti-vax.” Interesting comment because at the job we were at, all the foreigners didn’t wear a mask unless told to do so in such and such building. But when we were outside or in the car, we did not wear a mask. And he was in one of those cars with unmasked foreigners. And he himself was working with foreigners that did not wear a mask outside. He then continues to bad mouth the sort of faults my friend carries. “Nobody’s perfect and you gotta separate the wheat from the chaff,” I think.

My peer then transitions the conversation about a friend of his who we both work along side. My peer says, “What a great guy so & so is.”

A month before that so & so was introducing him to the new blood in our industry as “a guy who cheats on his wife.” Obviously my peer was not in the room. But these young bloods of our industry were set to go on a job with him for the first time. They had yet to meet him, all they knew was that he was an experienced person in our industry and that he was shameless about his infidelity.

Knowing is a blind spot.

My peer criticized a friend of mine who was complimenting him while in the same conversation he compliments another man who was gossiping his flaws to strangers within a professional setting.

Knowing is a blind spot.

I once had a girlfriend who held little respect for my own judgement. Like any relationship, we had some serious issues in ours and we were trying to make it work and not work. We had a common friend during this turbulent time and she told me I should talk to him and take his advice. “You don’t know what you want,” she would say. I can sum up that she was telling me to go talk to him because he will give me the advice I need to take action and make our relationship work. By her estimation, he is older than me and he knows more than me. A month before that, before we really hit tough times, our mutual friend told me to break up with her.

Knowing is a blind spot.

I eventually listened to her advice and took his advice.

End.

Shout out to a conversation by Matthew McConaughey and Sadhguru who inspired this theme.